In my humble opinion, I think every pregnancy should be celebrated with a baby shower or a Mother Blessing. Besides, everyone is doing it these days (having a second or third or fourth baby shower!).
If you don’t need baby gear the second time around, you can always call it a “Diapers and Wipes” and specifically ask for, you guessed it, diapers and baby wipes, or other gift alternatives. There are several online services that make it easy to set up diaper service for either cloth or disposable diapers. See links below!
If you are baby-showered-out, try an alternative such as a Mother Blessing. Everyone will be so confused about what the heck a Mother Blessing is, they won’t even know to be offended that you have the nerve to have a “second baby shower.”
You can even have a virtual baby shower for your second or subsequent baby! See the “Long Distance Baby Showers” page in this “Baby Shower Planning Guide.”
If you think it’s rude to ask for presents a “second time” then specify on your invitations something like: “No gifts please” OR even better: “In lieu of gifts please bring a dish that can be frozen and re-heated when the baby arrives“. I do know from personal experience that when a new baby finally makes her appearance, those frozen dishes come in really handy! You can also set up contributions for cleaning service, diaper service, daycare/babysitting or college savings.